So What??

Let me start with this quote which someone used recently:

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill

The old Churchill did seem to say quite a few inspiring words in his life time. But anyway that is not a matter of concern to me. Actually it's the meaning of the quote which is the main theme of this story. It is again one of the inspiring one liners that tell us to concentrate on the journey and not on the results etc. Somehow this thought inspires the radical thinking mind of mine if not anything else. Right now it's not the best frame of mind that I would like to be in and hence the thoughts might seem a little off beat and of course 'cribbish'. But this is a genuine confusion that I have had over the years and I am yet to get a solution.

I would like to think that I have been continuing on this journey to make something of myself and my life for a little over 20 years without much success (and here I am talking about success on the professional front). So how does it matter? Where is the result of the supposed courage that I think I have shown so far in facing quite a few upsets? Unfortunately, this courage is not valued at all. No one gives a damn if you are not successful. And in a way they are right. What's the point in working hard and still not making anything out of your life? If you ask me, it counts as number of failures you have had and are still willing to get out of it. It means all your efforts have been in vain, and the energy has been wasted in the wrong direction. Tell me if anyone will be happy at the end of his or her life to think that he struggled and struggled and yet could not make anything out of it. If the whole thought does not make me feel good I bet it will not make any one feel good, nor will make the other people in their lives value the efforts.

So whatever the old man said was wrong? Well, in my opinion- YES! He just gave a blatant statement without any validation for it (a.k.a. consulting); neither did he give any scale to measure the efforts. It is just a way to inspire people to keep going on because someday there will be a positive result; do not give up because that just seals the failure, while struggling keeps the hopes alive and delays failure. And of course there is a faint chance that you might meet success.

I just think at the end of the day it's the results that matter and not some bull shit struggle and courage shown by a person. Probably if I manage to make something out of my life I will let others know whether or not the courage helps or that it is better than giving up but at this moment I cannot but disagree with the old man's words.

Love so simple...

Aah, Valentine's Day is just round the corner!! The day about chocolates, gifts and cards and last but not the least Love! So am I going to start the hue and cry over Valentine’s Day that most single people are accused of doing since they cannot celebrate it themselves? Not really. I am trying to contrast the love that I see around me and an unadulterated version of love that I believe still exists beyond the teddies and cakes.

My idea of love (as in, relationship with the opposite sex) has changed over the years. As I grew up, the emphasis on a check list (of the characteristics of the Mr. Right) kept on reducing and the importance of compatibility and companionship went up. However even with all the mature catchwords (like the ones italicised above) somehow I have never ignored the materialistic part of it. In fact, the materialistic/ career aspects of a prospective companion seem to be taken for granted. It’s like there is no question of going out with/ getting married to some one who has less of the moolah. The fervour of love without all the material aspects seems lost somewhere. Not that I am complaining about the materialistic part, but it’s just a thought that probably love is no more unconditional (may be it never was).

I would not have realised this had I not seen this couple sometimes back. I really hope that I do not get into trouble for publishing their snaps; I cannot but ignore their simplicity and innocence which is evident from the photographs. I cannot imagine myself going to a park and not to a mall or a 5 star restaurant for an evening out, I cannot imagine sitting on a make shift swing, made of the prop roots of a tree, or feeling shy when I see a couple of girls clicking photographs of me and my husband (in fact I will make the girls pay if they click photographs without permission:-P). Coming back to them, I am very happy that there are still people who can see beyond the plethora of presents that couples today shower on each other. Perhaps, their love will still be strong if he gifts her gajra and not a flower bouquet worth 1000 bucks or more.

It may be argued that what’s wrong in splurging gifts as long as a couple can afford it? I think it’s more of a question as to whether the love will last when the couple cannot afford it. I do not want to clamour over card and gift manufacturers making business out of love by creating occasions such as Valentine’s Day, Rose Day etc and I am not saying that its wrong to gift something to someone you love. But the point really is that love is put to test when things are not all that sugary and these special days of celebrating love really do not ensure if some one will stick on when hard times befall. [If you really want to know what I mean by sticking to the person during tough times, check out these videos (might be depressing): 1 & 2.] With all this materialistic outlook I am not sure how many of us can actually stand that test of time. I have seen quite a few relations break when a better ‘option’ came along; all the musings about being in love were forgotten and all gifts were thrown out of the window. Perhaps my description of love is still crude and relies on the age old definition of love being an ‘intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state’. But if love does not ensure support and companionship when required the most, all the dazzle really doesn’t matter.

What do you do...?

What do you do when a close friend of yours (in fact a very close friend of yours) ditches you for another common friend? Ok, first of all there is no love factor involved here and this story is based on professional decisions. The ditching was done precisely on the basis of ... Actually even I don’t know the reason. I would like to think it this way that the favouritism was done based on calibre and/or ease of ‘logistics’. If it was done solely on the basis of calibre then in my defence I would like to say that I don’t think the bias should have been there. However I would definitely give my friend the benefit of doubt that he did it for the ease with which things fell into place and he could not include me even though he did remember my name and that I would have appreciated had he included me.

So what will you do if the same thing happens to you? Let’s not get into the petty details of the incident, but I am sure that we have all had similar incidents in our lives wherein we needed to jostle a few thoughts when we felt ignored by the most unexpected person. As for me, I always move on and there are no harsh feelings involved. I know my friend did it for professional reasons and our personal ties will not be hampered. In fact I should think of it this way – why on earth am I even expecting some one to make his professional decisions based on personal ties? People have their priorities and the priorities on the professional end cannot be ignored for someone you know. Every person is free to make his choice and the rest can keep on crying foul. However I would also like to take learning from this chapter – Never expect anything from anyone, however close that person may be.

An Inspiring Quote...

I love quotes and I keep reading them on various sites.

This one is a fabulous quote that I found a couple of years back and is one of my favourites.

'Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied to us...'

~ Sir Winston Churchill

Jail?

The PGP and FPM Offices of IIM Ahmedabad. These snaps were taken sometimes back when I was there. I must say that the architect extended his imagination and excellence to these two offices quite appropriately. :-)