Happy(?) Women's Day...

It’s International Women’s Day today. And even though I am a privileged one of the clan who doesn’t require the support that this day is supposed to provide, I cannot help but wonder if I am really happy to be a woman? Sadly I have to say no, I am not! And here are top of my mind reasons why.

The best thing about being a woman - shopping, dressing up, attention. All three are pretty much non-existent in my life. My weight has been a reason for concern and it doesn't feel good when somewhere I know, its all going downhill from here (at least figure wise)! A woman's body, her mind everything is so screwed up. It is made in a way to tolerate the innumerable poundings that are supposed to come in her life. While the creator managed to give her the strength to live it through all, today I wish He had given us some healing power too, so as to get back to the awesome physical state that we can be only be in for 5-7 years! And you see, when the core is so damn screwed up, its hard to imagine how one can enjoy the aforementioned best things that can happen to a woman! 

I see movie stars being badgered online everyday for their figures. And think of it, these women are in the profession where they get paid for looking good. But even with all the resources they have at their disposal, not everyone can manage that hour glass figure, the toned arms and flat abs or the perfect clothes. Needless to say, I am losing hope on getting things on track!

Of course, the creator used his creativity to give another specific trait to us - the J feeling. We see anyone pretty or young or wearing a nice dress this burning sensation takes over all our senses. It blinds us and we feel so helpless because we cannot be the person/ get the thing we see. It is the most inexplicable feeling in us, there's anger, helplessness, irritation , tears all in there without any sight of a way out!

And to top it all, there is a world full of mean people, who do not think twice before using words like meh, fat, auntyish, behenji, bhadromahila etc to name a few. Though this one takes the cake 'another 5-10 years and no one will be interested in your figure'. Seriously, only figure? In another decade no one would be bothered to ask about me, leave alone my figure. Unless of course I completely neglect home and work 18 hours a day and then people would be glad to check out my salary package (which is a different story altogether)! 

I don't know how this started. I know I am upset and this is what I usually do when things do not go the way I want them to. I seriously do not see what is so special about this day or for that matter any other day to be so happy about in being a woman? I am hating it, seriously hating it. I wish I was a man, if not anything I could have had a longer lifeline of the 'prime' in my life!

For a change...

Our new apartment, though pretty nice is not dramatic enough. I don’t know what I mean when I say dramatic. Just that I am in a good mood, it’s a Friday evening and V is kind of tired to drive too much, so a good option to do something would be to get home and have a drink. But drinking at home is not too inspiring (if I may say so). In the sense that, drinking has to be accompanied by the right mood/ambience. The lighting in my place definitely lacks it. I can play some good music. But it still lacks something that I cannot really put my finger on. Probably a balcony? We do have a nice place in front of the windows where we can sit and drink, but it doesn’t exactly have the view I would prefer in these times. While I would like to see the hustle bustle of cars passing by, the balcony lit by reflections from the street light, view of people or the sea, the one I have right now is of a joggers’ park. That is definitely not what I would like to look at when I am piling on calories!

So my yoga classes are on. And it’s good; I can feel the change it has brought to my joints and fitness. Though I have to say I haven’t seen any improvements in the ‘inches’ section. Basically no change in my size and I still don’t fit into my formal pants which I last wore in 2010 Jan! Whoa!! It has actually been a year. Time does fly! While I stopped wearing them because, I was going to an office where I really didn’t feel like dressing up (and not because, I wasn’t fitting into them). I am bored now and need to get back to wearing those. Also there is a wedding in about 2 weeks. Which means, I need to lose weight fast! 

I went for a walk on Sunday. I just can’t run! If only I can make my mind avoid hearing those pulsating heartbeats I would be done. But every time it’s the thumping noise that does me in! And I was on a mostly fruits diet this week because V wasn’t here and I was in no mood to have bai made food. So seems like it is doing the trick. Lets see if some more dedication helps.