So after coming back from honeymoon the things I have been doing is putting our home in order with my stuff being added to hubby's flat, taking responsibility of kitchen (which includes, making tea every morning and heating the bai cooked food for dinner:-P) and some more enjoyable tasks like uploading pictures :D ... well, as enjoyable as it may sound, it’s definitely not that easy. I spent some two days selecting pictures in which my make-up seems normal (I’ll get to that why it’s important) and then remembering to send the link to people...
The problem starts here, because people get back with comments- you are looking pretty etc., and i am so glad to gulp down the good ones. It's almost like somewhere I am thinking, I know I looked so awesome on my special day... But it’s really the bad ones that get me all crazy and I'll give some examples - were you painted in Asian paints?, your reception make-up was 'little over the line' ( yah i know what you mean by little)! And all these send me back to that day and I am thinking should I tell the make-up lady to lighten it up a little? Some people said I am looking good, so maybe it wasn't that bad... and seriously after spending a considerable amount of time selecting pictures where I don’t see two different shades on my face, this is kind of hard to handle! And these jumbled up thoughts in my mind make me really uncomfortable...
All this was with only one set of pictures... I hadn't seen my reception pictures so far. The day my bro sent a few of them and I saw my horrible make up...I almost felt like the whole wedding was such a waste because I look bad...I spend the whole day cribbing, cursing the makeup woman, complaining to mom, hubby, cousin, a friend and I don’t remember who else...trust me I am not at all being girly here. or maybe I am, because after marriage it doesn’t make sense to feel tomboyish anymore or rather claim to be one once you have done some really girly things like - wear sari, vermilion and roamed about the whole house in them and even traveled in that!
Of course it doesn't end here...I see honeymoon pictures of a couple on FB, people have commented on such nice photography and I think, damn, why didn’t I have that kind of photographer's eye... Mauritius was definitely very pretty, why didn’t I capture it well...Why did the tour guys take us to a temple of all places!! And it goes on...the problem with Facebook albums and a vela person (in this case me) is, once I've seen one, I cannot but see the others! I jump to their wedding pictures also which I'd missed while on leave... And aah, aren't they nice... beautifully taken pictures of the ceremony. I am sure the whole album would look even better. I open my pictures' folder and check out my wedding pictures ... damn, they look nice but not at all artistic like hers... the hues are so nice, there is such subtlety in them which was missed by my photographers... they tried their bit, but it’s not as nice as hers... for a second i feel, what if i can go back to that day and do it again, but, that day was kind of tiring also, doesn’t make sense to go back and do it once more... shit, my memories will end up being like this. Damn it! ...
And with all this thoughts I figure out who's the photographer, I go to their site to check out some really nice wedding pictures and start the day with a lot of sighs... I remember mailing some other chap who'd taken good wedding pictures and he'd replied with rates in the range 4-5k in dollars... sigh, sigh and more sigh... and right now i don’t know what to do, I really want/wanted good pictures from my wedding in my memories... kind of feels like an unfulfilled desire...
I can’t think of how to end this note. Like in the case of most unfulfilled wishes, I am thinking I will end this on a philosophical note - that these things do not matter blah, blah... but I'll refrain from that, because I am really not in a mood to sugarcoat/suppress the scene in my mind...I just hope (and i am pretty sure) I will forget this soon enough!
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